Begging Allowed

Every dog I ever met loves people food. Even the ones that already get home-cooked food, like our two, still want what hubby Mike and I have.

Imagine mouthwatering cooking aromas permeating the living space every day. Imagine having a dog’s superb sense of smell, much better than yours. And then imagine that all you ever get is a bowl of kibble once a day.

Dogs want people food cause people food is more appealing to the nose and taste buds, and if you think that dogs don’t taste, you should watch Will spit out vegetables she detests – broccoli, carrots, tomatoes. She loves green beans.

People food smells and tastes better than kibble, but that is only one reason why dogs try to manipulate us in parting with some of Sunday’s roast.

Dogs understand that sharing food is a sign of social acceptance and inclusion, and that, next to basic physical needs and emotional safety, is most important for them.

Human rituals almost always include eating together, because it creates kinship, and kin lends a helping hand if need be, and that enhances survival during hard times. Wolves feast together on killed prey. The whole purpose of a social group is to be strong in numbers. Sharing resources guarantees both the health of the individual and the pack.

Bonded dogs share toys, a water dish, interesting sniffing spots and even food if there is enough of it. Sharing a resource with a subordinate is a sign of high status, and the attempt to manipulate someone into sharing a possession is an act in submission.

Ergo, begging for table scraps is not challenging for alpha status, but a subordinate understanding that he does not control the food, and asking the one who does to share.

When I cook dinner, I invite my dogs to join me in the kitchen. Actually, I put it on command – say “lets cook”, thereby ordering them to join me. I could also practice the “come” command, or “lets-go” and have them follow me.

And then they beg according to the rules I laid out for them. After all, I’m the boss. And the rules are:

Don’t stare at the food, but connect to me with prolonged, soft eye contact;

Don’t corral me, but keep at least a five feet distance;

Don’t bark, whine, pace or tense, but remain in a relaxed down-stay;

Take the tidbits I’m giving you softly and don’t fight over food I am tossing.

From my point of view, and I bet my dogs’ as well, begging means:

Dog is showing interest in what I am doing;

Dog is connected to me and attentive;

Dog is motivated by something I have control over.

Those are key ingredients for many behaviors I want in day-to-day life. Attention, connection and motivation I need for a reliable recall, obedience around distractions, and self-restraint in anticipation of a reward. Why wouldn’t I take every opportunity to practice that, and especially take advantage of opportunities that allow me to combine domestic duties with training.

I cook, or eat, several times per day – and my dogs practice self-control around a high valued resource several times per day. They also practice to tolerate each other’s presence, and that of an occasional canine guest, around stuff they really want. And I don’t have to scrape away extra time out of my busy schedule to train manners in staged, artificially orchestrated situations.

If your dog joins you in the kitchen, don’t punish him for offering attention and then demand it two hours later in the training class.

By permitting my “girls” to be in proximity when I cook or eat, I communicate that we belong together. So, it’s not really begging, but including - communion building. And because I control the snacks, I score extra leadership points.

Three of the "Seven Spiritual Laws of Success" - For Dogs

I am not a religious person, as in following a certain religious doctrine, but I do believe in something that’s bigger than me and everlasting. One of my favorite spiritual teachers is Deepak Chopra. In his book “Seven Spiritual Laws of Success” I found three that, I believe, should be remembered when we live and work with our dogs.

In the chapter “Giving and Receiving” Chopra explains that one can give someone money without relating to him; that there is a difference between care and caring. When I observe how people, including some who train with positive reinforcement, relate to their dogs, I often notice that their interactions seem automated, abrupt, rehearsed. Caring is prolonged interest in the other, and to give of oneself. Owned dogs are thirsting for that deep connection. It is not the treat that should matter most, but the genuine joy you express for a job well done, and the happy and undivided attention you give whenever you interact with your dog.

The Law of Least Effort states that nature takes the course of least action and no resistance. We know that’s true cause organisms wouldn’t survive if they’d consistently expend more energy than they take in. Dogs, like us, are nature. Chopra says that whatever increases chaos and disorder is operating against the Law of Least Effort, leads to frustration and is counterproductive to life. The key is to do less to accomplish more. In regards to dogs it can mean fewer artificially orchestrated activities to avoid over-stimulation, less overbearing and more subtle communication, and taking an interest in the dog’s natural aptitude and channeling that, so that success is achieved with less effort.

The Law of Detachment says that nature works best once we are detached from the outcome. Like, buy that lottery ticket and release it from your mind; take that course you are interested in regardless if you can use it for something or not.

Regarding dogs, it means that the highly ambitious and competitive type-A owner needs to reduce performance pressure he puts his dog under. Ribbons and titles are important for people, not dogs. That does not mean you shouldn’t pursue dog sports, or obedience, or whatever you like, but with the primary focus to bond over quality time spent together. Then your dog will want to be with you, and work with you, and success in any activity will follow, sometimes almost miraculously. Chopra describes it as maintaining serenity while being passionate about the goal. The intention is in the future, but the attention is in the present, and the presence is what matters to your dog. And if your attention is a caring, prolonged, deep, subtle and connected one, your dog will feed of your serenity, and everything will fall into place - much faster than with force.